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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?